Support For Life’s Biggest Challenges
How do I manage anxiety amid change?
Therapy for big life changes in Ann Arbor, MI
Common life transitions experienced by men in their 20s, 30s and 40s:
Living on your own for the first time
Moving to a new city
Taking on more adult responsibilities
Starting your career
Losing your job
Entering your first serious relationship
Experiencing your first serious breakup
Getting married
Becoming a father
Unexpected and unwanted medical diagnoses
Taking on a caretaker role for older relatives
Losing a parent
Transitions are stressful! Any one of the above life events can drain our emotional resources and leave us feeling exhausted, depressed and anxious. Sometimes we encounter major life changes before we are ready (e.g. an unplanned pregnancy, a sudden death in the family). Other times, we get caught up in comparing ourselves to others and can feel as if we are “falling behind” for not achieving certain career or relationship goals. Often, these major life changes come with a mix of welcome (excitement, joy, pride) and unwelcome (regret, fear, shame) emotions. We may feel indecisive or ambivalent and question if we are even on the right path in life.
Adverse life transitions leave us feeling adrift and directionless. Therapy helps us regroup and reconnect with ourselves and our needs. In therapy we can develop a plan to get unstuck and move towards our greater life goals. We can make meaning of current and past challenges and adversities. We can find purpose and fulfillment in our life and can deepen our connection to our present moment, the people around us and our sense of self.
If you are on this page, you’re probably experiencing one or more challenging life transitions. If you found this page helpful or if you just want to learn more, please schedule a consultation today!
Common challenges when entering adulthood
Many young men feel fear and anxiety when they are transitioning to adulthood. They may not feel prepared to live on their own, while also experiencing considerable pressure to do so. At the same time, they may feel excited to have more independence and an opportunity to both test their abilities and develop new skills.
Common concerns include:
Anxiety about job interviews
Regret about past academic decisions
Financial anxiety
Unhelpful comparisons to peers
Uncertainty about life goals
Loneliness and isolation
Avoiding new challenges out of a fear of failure
My approach:
Identify needs, skills and resources (e.g. career or college coaching)
Normalize and validate needs, emotions and challenges
Develop clear, targeted goals
Cultivate the self-compassion needed to move on from past mistakes
Foster emotional resilience when taking distressing but meaningful actions
Reflect successes and lessons learned from less successful experiments
Common outcomes:
An actionable plan to address quarter-life challenges
Confidence to take the next step towards important life goals
Greater trust in self and greater internal validation
Less time spent researching every possible outcome or failure point
Increased distress tolerance and decreased avoidance
Common challenges when entering a new romantic relationship:
Many people desire a fulfilling and loving relationship, however learning how to spend your life with a partner is no easy task! Dating can be an anxiety-provoking experience for many - especially those who believe themselves to be a “late bloomer” or “behind schedule”. Others have had painful past experiences with infidelity, invalidation and rejection that makes it hard to trust themselves and their new partner. Relationships that blossom into something more serious come with a new set of challenges - conversations about moving in, marriage, children and more - which require deep trust and vulnerability.
Common concerns include:
Social anxiety about how to present yourself in dating profiles, on first dates and in first-time sexual encounters
Differences in family culture, ethnic background, attachment patterns, values and communications styles
Sexual challenges, including erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, mismatched libidos, sexual trauma and anxiety about sexual inexperience
Managing jealousy, fear of abandonment and fear of rejection
Navigating discussions about marriage, family planning, finances and life goals
My approach:
Cultivate the ability to listen to our feelings and the important messages they carry
Identify formative experiences with trust, vulnerability and love
Track patterns of conflict, avoidance, pursuit and withdraw in our relationships
Strengthen communication skills needed to repair relationship ruptures and express our needs effectively
Foster skills to regulate emotions both on our own and with others
Common outcomes:
Greater emotional and physical intimacy with our partner
Increased attachment security and feelings of love and support
Greater emotion regulation and restorative communication when conflict or friction arises within the relationship
Greater sense of self and a stronger identity both within and outside of our primary romantic relationships
Common challenges when becoming a father:
Becoming a parent is one of life’s great joys. It can also carry great anxiety and sorrow. An unplanned pregnancy can potentially change everything about our life when we feel totally unprepared. Unexpected fertility challenges, including the loss of a pregnancy, can be devastating and often we feel as if we are experiencing this loss entirely alone. Even when a pregnancy goes according to plan, we may still feel strained and stressed adjusting to life as a parent.
Common concerns include:
Fear that we will mess up or be a bad parent
Grief, anger and anxiety over fertility challenges
Not feeling ready to be a parent - particularly in cases of an unplanned pregnancy
Not knowing how to best support our partner during her pregnancy or in post-partum
Painful reminders of our childhood and worries that we will repeat our parents’ mistakes
Strained relationships with our partner, our friends and ourselves as we adjust to this important new relationship in our life
My approach:
Normalize that the experience of becoming a parent looks different for everyone
Gather resources and support to address your individual needs
Listen for deeper emotional challenges and attachment wounds
Identify what was missing in your life then, how you are different today and how you can be the parent you needed as a child
Locate the tools needed to deepen connections with your child, your partner and yourself
Common outcomes:
Confidence in your parenting choices
Greater communication and support with your partner
Greater emotion regulation when things feel chaotic, stressful and out-of-control
Lessening the pain of adverse childhood experiences so that you can feel more present with your child today
Gentler self-regard and greater self-compassion when things go wrong
